animalstalkinginallcaps:

MR. WALTERS, PLEASE! IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!

I’LL GIVE UP MY BENEFITS. I’LL STOP WORKING OVERTIME. WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Come on, now, Peter, buck up. Let’s get out of the parking lot. It’s nothing personal, you know. A little restructuring, that’s all. Look at the bright side. You made it through the first two rounds of layoffs. Most of your department got let go a year or two ago, which is why you’ve been working so much overtime. Think of how lucky you are to have had those two extra years.

BUT I HAVE BILLS! I HAVE A FAMILY!

So does the bank, Peter. They’re called shareholders. Should the bank’s family have to go hungry too? Of course they shouldn’t. And now you have more time to spend with your family. I’m sure they’ve missed you. Now please, go clean out your desk. Security will see you out.

WHERE WILL WE LIVE?

I don’t know. One of those tent cities that keep popping up downtown? I wish I knew what those were all about. Anyway, I’ll actually miss you, Peter. After 20 years it will be strange not to see your face every day. Tell Susan I said Happy Christmas, would you? The kids too.